Songs Dedicated to Serie A Players
Gennaro Gattuso - Da Boss would like to see you - Snoop Dogg
Inter's Adriano - what happened to you - the Offspring
Silvio Berlusconi - 20 dollars to my name - Snoop Dogg
Adriano Galliani - Brother, Can You Spare A Dime - Bing Crosby
Delio Rossi - Smack my bitch up - Prodigy
Zeman - Still Smokin' - Mystikal
Milito - Y'all Gone Miss Me - Snoop
Vicenzo Iaquinta - why don't you get a job - The offspring
bentner - Hold On We're Going Home - Drake
Massimiliano Allegri - Wake me up when September ends - Green
Day
AC MIlan's Transfer Policy - "Dividing by Zero" - the Offspring
Paul Pogba - "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" - The offspring
Eugenio Corini - Long way to go - Cassie
Rafael BeniteZ - "fat boy" - Max-a-million
Robinho - "i'm not a player" - Big Pun
Tevez - Fire it up - Busta Rhymes
Erick Thohir - Respect my Conglomerate - busta Rhymes
Mauro Tassoti - Put your hands where my eyes could see - Busta
Rhymes
Giovinco - I wish - Skee-lo
Marco Boriello - Batty Rider - buju Bantan
Balotelli - "Oops!... I Did It Again" - britney Speers
- Bad man nuh flee - Beenie Man
Vladomir Petkovic - Ready for Whatever - T.I.
Simplicio - i like big butts - Sir Mix-a-lot
Gonzalo Higuain - Don't Cry for Me Argentina - Madonna
Zarate - I Don't Ever Want to See You Again - uncle Sam
Honorable Mentions
Rob Ford - 10 crack commandments - Notorious BIG
Eric Lindros - It's All Coming Back to Me Now - celine Dion
Friday, December 20, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
10 more reasons why AC Milan Sucks
10-Galliani entertained reporters about AC Milan's vision for
the future and a reporter asked "what is your goal for the
future?" And Galliani replied "We want to win no matter the
cost" and Berlusconi wispered in Galliani's ear and told the
reporters" Sorry, But I must retract my last statement. we want
to win and reduce costs at the same time "
9-When Balotelli was informed about the criticism from former AC
MIlan player Zvonimir Boban he replied " I heard about this
player before. when i was a kid my coach once told me " if you
are going to shoot make sure you put the ball on net and don't
pull a Boban" I always thought that the coach meant don't shoot
it above the crossbar but maybe he meant don't bitch like a baby
if we don't win "
8-A reporter asked Barbara Berlusconi about the Dutch Influence
on AC Milan and She replied "are you talking about my dad's
transfer budget again ? " and the reporter replied "" actually I
was referring to the great Dutch players such as Van Basten,
Gullit, Rijkaard....." and she replied "nobody is more Dutch and
more influential to this team than my daddy"
7-Galliani let it slip to the media that "I cried when I sold
Kaka” and a reporter asked "what did Berlusconi do when Kaka was
sold?" he replied " he cried too but for different reasons. I
cried because i was sad to see him go. Silvio cried because he
was sad to see all that money go to pay off debt"
6-After Berlusconi convinced his daughter and Galliani to co-
exist, Barbara went over to Galliani and said "don't expect me
to wear a skirt to work because i wear the pants in this office"
and he replied "well that's good because if you wore both at the
same time Allegri would be doing his job naked right now"
5-After Balotelli posted the following sarcastic comment on twitter after accusing a player of racial slurs in the Catania game “Hahaha! Fortunately, there is justice in this country,” and Galliani was furious and immediately went up to Balotelli and said " Don't ever make comments like that because it could cost me my Job!" and Balotelli replied " how is that possible?" and Galliani replied " let me explain. saying stuff like that puts pressure on the italian Government to arrest Silvio for the sex scandal. If He gets arrested then Barbara takes over the team. If She takes over the team i'm out of a job and who is going to hire an old man like me ?" and Balotelli hugged him and replied "Don't worry about it. if you get fired just try out for the squad - you're available on free transfer, we are always looking for centerbacks with communication skills like yours and
besides, your fitness is better than half the team anyways!"
4-Former Milan midfielder Gennaro Gattuso was quoted as saying
“I don’t want to say this, but I really can’t see women in
football” and Galliani replied " I wish that Concept were to be
applied here at Milanello. Silvio is more focused on his job when he is not
chasing tail" and Tassoti said "that's why barbara will always
be allowed to work in soccer - she doesn't fall in that female
category. Her balls are bigger than her dads"
3-Barbara Berlusconi lashed out at Galliani for his wasteful
summer spending as saying "How could you spend 11 million euros
on Matri ? Don't you know we need young players and i have not had the star that I have been looking for since Pato arrived" and Galliani replied " i have an idea that saves money and keeps you happy. i'll cancel the under-17 team's excursion to Disneyland and then send them 1 by 1 to your office. Who needs to spend money on that trip if each one can get a free ride right here at Headquarters ?"
2-The legendary Catania team of 83-84 which only won 1 game
against 2nd last place Pisa and finished with 12 points watched
the Milan-Catania game and all of the former players started
warming up when catania was losing and the staff asked them "
what are you guys doing?" and the former players replied "we are
warming up to play in place of this squad - even us at our age can score on that goalie Gabriel and outrun Bonera and Silvestre in the box" and they approached an old man chain smoking and they asked him "what do you think you are doing?" and the old man replied "this replacement squad is going to be coached by Zeman"
1-Berlusconi was quoted after the Livorno game as saying “The
team needs my help.” and a heckler replied "and it only took you
3 years to realize this?? if you just paid off your tab with the refs we would have won this game"
10-Galliani entertained reporters about AC Milan's vision for
the future and a reporter asked "what is your goal for the
future?" And Galliani replied "We want to win no matter the
cost" and Berlusconi wispered in Galliani's ear and told the
reporters" Sorry, But I must retract my last statement. we want
to win and reduce costs at the same time "
9-When Balotelli was informed about the criticism from former AC
MIlan player Zvonimir Boban he replied " I heard about this
player before. when i was a kid my coach once told me " if you
are going to shoot make sure you put the ball on net and don't
pull a Boban" I always thought that the coach meant don't shoot
it above the crossbar but maybe he meant don't bitch like a baby
if we don't win "
8-A reporter asked Barbara Berlusconi about the Dutch Influence
on AC Milan and She replied "are you talking about my dad's
transfer budget again ? " and the reporter replied "" actually I
was referring to the great Dutch players such as Van Basten,
Gullit, Rijkaard....." and she replied "nobody is more Dutch and
more influential to this team than my daddy"
7-Galliani let it slip to the media that "I cried when I sold
Kaka” and a reporter asked "what did Berlusconi do when Kaka was
sold?" he replied " he cried too but for different reasons. I
cried because i was sad to see him go. Silvio cried because he
was sad to see all that money go to pay off debt"
6-After Berlusconi convinced his daughter and Galliani to co-
exist, Barbara went over to Galliani and said "don't expect me
to wear a skirt to work because i wear the pants in this office"
and he replied "well that's good because if you wore both at the
same time Allegri would be doing his job naked right now"
5-After Balotelli posted the following sarcastic comment on twitter after accusing a player of racial slurs in the Catania game “Hahaha! Fortunately, there is justice in this country,” and Galliani was furious and immediately went up to Balotelli and said " Don't ever make comments like that because it could cost me my Job!" and Balotelli replied " how is that possible?" and Galliani replied " let me explain. saying stuff like that puts pressure on the italian Government to arrest Silvio for the sex scandal. If He gets arrested then Barbara takes over the team. If She takes over the team i'm out of a job and who is going to hire an old man like me ?" and Balotelli hugged him and replied "Don't worry about it. if you get fired just try out for the squad - you're available on free transfer, we are always looking for centerbacks with communication skills like yours and
besides, your fitness is better than half the team anyways!"
4-Former Milan midfielder Gennaro Gattuso was quoted as saying
“I don’t want to say this, but I really can’t see women in
football” and Galliani replied " I wish that Concept were to be
applied here at Milanello. Silvio is more focused on his job when he is not
chasing tail" and Tassoti said "that's why barbara will always
be allowed to work in soccer - she doesn't fall in that female
category. Her balls are bigger than her dads"
3-Barbara Berlusconi lashed out at Galliani for his wasteful
summer spending as saying "How could you spend 11 million euros
on Matri ? Don't you know we need young players and i have not had the star that I have been looking for since Pato arrived" and Galliani replied " i have an idea that saves money and keeps you happy. i'll cancel the under-17 team's excursion to Disneyland and then send them 1 by 1 to your office. Who needs to spend money on that trip if each one can get a free ride right here at Headquarters ?"
2-The legendary Catania team of 83-84 which only won 1 game
against 2nd last place Pisa and finished with 12 points watched
the Milan-Catania game and all of the former players started
warming up when catania was losing and the staff asked them "
what are you guys doing?" and the former players replied "we are
warming up to play in place of this squad - even us at our age can score on that goalie Gabriel and outrun Bonera and Silvestre in the box" and they approached an old man chain smoking and they asked him "what do you think you are doing?" and the old man replied "this replacement squad is going to be coached by Zeman"
1-Berlusconi was quoted after the Livorno game as saying “The
team needs my help.” and a heckler replied "and it only took you
3 years to realize this?? if you just paid off your tab with the refs we would have won this game"
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