10 things more likely to happen in Italian soccer than Lazio winning the scudetto
10-Zeman showing up to work without his cigarettes and lighter in his pocket
9-Giovinco scoring a header off a free kick in a champion's league game.
8-Balotelli naming his first son "Adolf"
7-Berlusconi cheating on his wife with an older woman
6-Abbiati breaking the record for longest consecutive run without conceding a goal in Serie A with Silvestre and Bonera as starting center backs.
5-an African player being the leading goal scorer for Lazio
4-Moratti getting a haircut before a Derby D'Italia match
3-Inter having an all-italian starting lineup
2-Taking a photo of allegri's smile with his teeth showing
1-AC Milan qualifying for Champion's league on the last day of the season without the referee's assistance
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013
10 reasons why I love Champion's league Soccer
10 reasons why I love Champion's league Soccer
10-After Balotelli scored on a penalty kick for AC Milan he was criticized for not having
his "why always me" t-shirt underneath his jersey because there was a kid in the stands
with a banner ready to answer that question. it said "who else on AC milan can score from
12 yards away from the net ?"
9-Balotelli was cursing at a shot by Nocerino that was saved by Muslera and was heard
saying "f'n bit*h if I had that open chance I would have shot on target and exploded all
over that opening" and Matri went to tell Mario "it was just a opportunity to score that
went bad, not a night out with your ex" and Balotelli replied "in both cases someone is
playing "who's your daddy" at the end of it"
8-Galliani was commented as saying "Champion's league soccer is like a religion to AC
Milan fans" and a fan sarcastically replies "Oh great, does that mean you will be passing
a donation basket during the half time of all Champion's league home games?"
7-Berlusconi says there will be a price increase Effective January 1st for all Champion's
league games and the fans revolted against his decision saying it's too much money. When
asked why his reply was " my spousal support gets adjusted for inflation next year so
someone has to pay for it! "
6-After Napoli's loss to Arsenal Napoli President De Laurentis called Benitez to his
office where Benitez requested to make funds available for defensive reinforcements and
De Laurentis' reply was "I'm not giving you a f'n Euro until you can show me what the
team at your disposal is capable of" and Benitez replied "you're starting to sound like
Massimo Moratti you know..."
5-Allegri had a chat with his teammates after going gown 1-0 against ajax and it went
like this:
ALLEGRI: Our only hope for winning is shooting from inside the box. Montolivo, you pass
to Robinho.
MONTOLIVO: O.k., Pass to Robinho, then what?
ROBINHO: Do I Shoot for the goal ?
ALLEGRI Very funny. that's 10 laps, chowderhead. Now what's the right answer?
TEAM: Pass it to Mario.
ALLEGRI: All right. let's do it.
4-former Juve player Giancarlo Marocchi commented on Galatasaray's second goal as saying
“Isla’s error was unacceptable,” and Conte's reply was "I should have known that if Marco
Branca wanted to buy him that he was garbage..."
3-Tevez was asked "how would you feel about not playing Champion's league soccer for AC
Milan?" and Tevez replied "when i talked with Galliani last year they said that nobody on
the team will earn more than Mexes so I walked out of this office because i said to
myself "a paperboy in Buenos Aires earns more than Mexes"...... how was I supposed to
know that Mexes earned 4 million per year ?? "
2-Felipe melo was criticized for not going past the center line the entire game against
Juventus and after the game Sneijder went up to him and said "felipe, it's no longer
World Cup 2010 and you're no longer at the airport in Brazil. you can pass through to the
other side" and Melo replied "easy for you to say, in both cases if i cross the line i'm
still a hated man just asking to get killed by the fans....."
1-When Juve was down 1-0 to Galatasaray Andrea Agnielli approached Silvio Berlusconi and
the discussion went like this:
Andrea Agnielli: Don Berlusconi. I need a man who has powerful friends. I need a favour
from you. I need, Don Berlusconi, all of those Referees that you carry around in your
pocket, like so many nickels and dimes.
Silvio Berlusconi: What is the interest for my family?
Andrea Agnielli: I will give you money for Spousal support
Silvio Berlusconi: Why come to me? What have I done to deserve such generosity?
10-After Balotelli scored on a penalty kick for AC Milan he was criticized for not having
his "why always me" t-shirt underneath his jersey because there was a kid in the stands
with a banner ready to answer that question. it said "who else on AC milan can score from
12 yards away from the net ?"
9-Balotelli was cursing at a shot by Nocerino that was saved by Muslera and was heard
saying "f'n bit*h if I had that open chance I would have shot on target and exploded all
over that opening" and Matri went to tell Mario "it was just a opportunity to score that
went bad, not a night out with your ex" and Balotelli replied "in both cases someone is
playing "who's your daddy" at the end of it"
8-Galliani was commented as saying "Champion's league soccer is like a religion to AC
Milan fans" and a fan sarcastically replies "Oh great, does that mean you will be passing
a donation basket during the half time of all Champion's league home games?"
7-Berlusconi says there will be a price increase Effective January 1st for all Champion's
league games and the fans revolted against his decision saying it's too much money. When
asked why his reply was " my spousal support gets adjusted for inflation next year so
someone has to pay for it! "
6-After Napoli's loss to Arsenal Napoli President De Laurentis called Benitez to his
office where Benitez requested to make funds available for defensive reinforcements and
De Laurentis' reply was "I'm not giving you a f'n Euro until you can show me what the
team at your disposal is capable of" and Benitez replied "you're starting to sound like
Massimo Moratti you know..."
5-Allegri had a chat with his teammates after going gown 1-0 against ajax and it went
like this:
ALLEGRI: Our only hope for winning is shooting from inside the box. Montolivo, you pass
to Robinho.
MONTOLIVO: O.k., Pass to Robinho, then what?
ROBINHO: Do I Shoot for the goal ?
ALLEGRI Very funny. that's 10 laps, chowderhead. Now what's the right answer?
TEAM: Pass it to Mario.
ALLEGRI: All right. let's do it.
4-former Juve player Giancarlo Marocchi commented on Galatasaray's second goal as saying
“Isla’s error was unacceptable,” and Conte's reply was "I should have known that if Marco
Branca wanted to buy him that he was garbage..."
3-Tevez was asked "how would you feel about not playing Champion's league soccer for AC
Milan?" and Tevez replied "when i talked with Galliani last year they said that nobody on
the team will earn more than Mexes so I walked out of this office because i said to
myself "a paperboy in Buenos Aires earns more than Mexes"...... how was I supposed to
know that Mexes earned 4 million per year ?? "
2-Felipe melo was criticized for not going past the center line the entire game against
Juventus and after the game Sneijder went up to him and said "felipe, it's no longer
World Cup 2010 and you're no longer at the airport in Brazil. you can pass through to the
other side" and Melo replied "easy for you to say, in both cases if i cross the line i'm
still a hated man just asking to get killed by the fans....."
1-When Juve was down 1-0 to Galatasaray Andrea Agnielli approached Silvio Berlusconi and
the discussion went like this:
Andrea Agnielli: Don Berlusconi. I need a man who has powerful friends. I need a favour
from you. I need, Don Berlusconi, all of those Referees that you carry around in your
pocket, like so many nickels and dimes.
Silvio Berlusconi: What is the interest for my family?
Andrea Agnielli: I will give you money for Spousal support
Silvio Berlusconi: Why come to me? What have I done to deserve such generosity?
10 reason why Juventus Beat AC Milan 3-2
10 reason why Juventus Beat AC Milan 3-2
10-Sebastian Giovinco was asked about his goal against AC Milan over weekend and he
replied "I practised that goal in our training sessions with pilons and seeing the 2
Milan centerbacks on the field is not much different that the pilons in practice"
9-De Jong made a comment to the press and said "i do the dirty work - that’s my role" And
Berlusconi's female secretary replied " so that's why he had carpet burns on his knees
the day he signed his contract........ "
8-The creators of EA Sports simulated the Juve-Milan game on PS3 and the guy that played
with AC Milan lost 3-2 and replied "this isn't realistic. When Milan is down by a goal in
the second half we need to make a code so that when you pass the ball to Balotelli in the
penalty area and you automatically get rewarded a penalty shot"
7-A fan sitting in the front row overheard Allegri taking to Tassoti about tactical
changes when Milan was losing 3-1 and Allegri said to Tassoti "what can we do to improve
the look of this team from the bench?" and the fan took off the paper bag he was wearing
over his head and offered it to Allegri
6-After AC Milan was fined for racist chants against Neopolitans Allegri thanked the Juve
fans for no racist chants against his players during the game. When asked about Boateng's
position of walking off the field if players receive racist chants Allegri applied "if
every black player on my team walked off the pitch because of racist chants during the
current injuy crisis, i wouldn't have enough players on the bench to replace them all
with" and someone replied "Imagine what the french national team would be like...."
5-After Mexes received a red card Allegri called Galliani and asked "i need Silvestre. is
there anyway I can get a center back of Silvestre's quality? perferrably an ex-inter
player" and Galliani replied "an experienced defender that's big and slow of Silvestre's
quality with preference towards a black and blue player and available on free
transfer..... hmm.......let me see if Lucio or Yepes is still available"
4-Galliani was Furious at the $50,000 fine given to AC Milan for racist chants against
Neopolitans and replied to the fans in the parking lot " don't you fans realize that you
just killed my entire transfer budget for January!!" and a fan replied "we had a transfer
budget for January?" and Galliani replied "YES! it's a zero dollar transfer budget now I
have to sell to recover that $50,000" and a fan said "good, now you have an excuse to get
rid of all our centerbacks" and Galliani replied "what am i going to do to recover the
remaining $49,999.95 ?? "
3- Galliani commented to the press as saying "Things are certainly not going right, but the same happened last season," with much of the criticsm going to Milan Coach Allegri because it takes him 10 games to get his team going and Cesare Prandelli replied "And Allegri is a candidate for my Job? does the FIGC Realize that there's only 7 games to win the world cup?"
2-The Juventus defense consulted with Conte about how to cover Alessandro Matri and Conte
replied "what do we do with weak strikers again?" and Chiellini repied "leave the assignment of covering them to Bonucci" and Barzagli replied " oh no, you're giving a defensive assignment to Bonucci??" and Bonucci replied " finally an assignment that I don't have to copy off the guy beside me to pass......what are the odds of Matri getting ball posession with Robinho on the field?"
1-Berlusconi was watching the game with Galliani and when they were losing 3-1 he said to
Galliani "I thought we resolved our defensive problems 2 years ago. I gave you 4 million
to replace Thiago Silva where did my money go?" and he replied " I bought Acerbi" and
Berlusconi was Furious and replied "4 MILLION FOR THAT PIECE OF SHIT ACERBI! He's worth
more than the rest of the defense put together" and Galliani replied "I agree, but then
you wonder why we let in 13 goals so far this season...."
10-Sebastian Giovinco was asked about his goal against AC Milan over weekend and he
replied "I practised that goal in our training sessions with pilons and seeing the 2
Milan centerbacks on the field is not much different that the pilons in practice"
9-De Jong made a comment to the press and said "i do the dirty work - that’s my role" And
Berlusconi's female secretary replied " so that's why he had carpet burns on his knees
the day he signed his contract........ "
8-The creators of EA Sports simulated the Juve-Milan game on PS3 and the guy that played
with AC Milan lost 3-2 and replied "this isn't realistic. When Milan is down by a goal in
the second half we need to make a code so that when you pass the ball to Balotelli in the
penalty area and you automatically get rewarded a penalty shot"
7-A fan sitting in the front row overheard Allegri taking to Tassoti about tactical
changes when Milan was losing 3-1 and Allegri said to Tassoti "what can we do to improve
the look of this team from the bench?" and the fan took off the paper bag he was wearing
over his head and offered it to Allegri
6-After AC Milan was fined for racist chants against Neopolitans Allegri thanked the Juve
fans for no racist chants against his players during the game. When asked about Boateng's
position of walking off the field if players receive racist chants Allegri applied "if
every black player on my team walked off the pitch because of racist chants during the
current injuy crisis, i wouldn't have enough players on the bench to replace them all
with" and someone replied "Imagine what the french national team would be like...."
5-After Mexes received a red card Allegri called Galliani and asked "i need Silvestre. is
there anyway I can get a center back of Silvestre's quality? perferrably an ex-inter
player" and Galliani replied "an experienced defender that's big and slow of Silvestre's
quality with preference towards a black and blue player and available on free
transfer..... hmm.......let me see if Lucio or Yepes is still available"
4-Galliani was Furious at the $50,000 fine given to AC Milan for racist chants against
Neopolitans and replied to the fans in the parking lot " don't you fans realize that you
just killed my entire transfer budget for January!!" and a fan replied "we had a transfer
budget for January?" and Galliani replied "YES! it's a zero dollar transfer budget now I
have to sell to recover that $50,000" and a fan said "good, now you have an excuse to get
rid of all our centerbacks" and Galliani replied "what am i going to do to recover the
remaining $49,999.95 ?? "
3- Galliani commented to the press as saying "Things are certainly not going right, but the same happened last season," with much of the criticsm going to Milan Coach Allegri because it takes him 10 games to get his team going and Cesare Prandelli replied "And Allegri is a candidate for my Job? does the FIGC Realize that there's only 7 games to win the world cup?"
2-The Juventus defense consulted with Conte about how to cover Alessandro Matri and Conte
replied "what do we do with weak strikers again?" and Chiellini repied "leave the assignment of covering them to Bonucci" and Barzagli replied " oh no, you're giving a defensive assignment to Bonucci??" and Bonucci replied " finally an assignment that I don't have to copy off the guy beside me to pass......what are the odds of Matri getting ball posession with Robinho on the field?"
1-Berlusconi was watching the game with Galliani and when they were losing 3-1 he said to
Galliani "I thought we resolved our defensive problems 2 years ago. I gave you 4 million
to replace Thiago Silva where did my money go?" and he replied " I bought Acerbi" and
Berlusconi was Furious and replied "4 MILLION FOR THAT PIECE OF SHIT ACERBI! He's worth
more than the rest of the defense put together" and Galliani replied "I agree, but then
you wonder why we let in 13 goals so far this season...."
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