10-Berlusconi was brainstorming with Galliani Idea about improving their defense by adding a new Centerback to play with Rami and he says to Galliani "Nesta is going to retire next year. why don't you call his agent to see if he will play another season for us" and Galliani replied "he's going to retire and you want him to play an extra year ? he old and washed up! no General Manager in their right mind would ever make such a stupid decision to re-sign dead wood" and Berlusconi replied " Didn't you extended Bonera's contract by an extra year ? "
9-A sick kid goes to take a physical and the inter fan of a physician requests a stool sample and says " I need you to take a Milan and bring it back to me in this cup" and the kid replies " Which centerback position on that field outside should i squat onto ? "
8-Berlusconi expressed his admiration for Kaka by saying during the warmup of their champion's league game against Barcelona by saying "May this team play like old Kaka" and a little boy in the stands heard this comment and replied "dad, does that mean Ambrosini, Seedorf, gattuso and Inzaghi are coming back?" and the father replied "no, if anything it means Dhorasso, Reizinger, N'Gotty and Javi Moreno may return"
7-A commentator expressed his view on Roma's ability to score goals in the second half by saying "you gotta give credit to Rudi Garcia - if there's one thing the french knows it's how to get men to take the opposition's penetration in the beginning and survive with a smile before giving it hard at the end"
6-Berlusconi's new wife demanded that he put together a garden so he received a quote from the landscaper for manure at a cost of $200.00 euros a ton and he replied "you want me to pay $200.00 euros a ton for horse shit? i own the rights to have my team for less than that" and the Landscaper replied "yes that may be true, but unlike half your team this may actually bear fruit"
5-When Kaka scored his first goal since coming back to Milan he let reporters know what he was thinking and replied 'i went to hug my former teammates and i couldn't find one! then i looked at my team approaching me and said to myself "what the fuck happened to this team in the 6 years i left? I played soccer in a park in Rio De Janeiro with better teams than this one"
4-Amauri called the police because his jersey collection was stolen and the officer taking the report asked him " was there a recently new jersey taken?" and Amauri replied "the jersey i scored my last goal in serie a was taken" and the officer replies "i'll take that as a "NO" please continue" and he replies " The jersey that I scored my most important goal for Juventus was taken" and the police officer wrote the following "an official game-worn Fiorentina jersey worn against AC Milan in 2011 was also stolen"
3-After the Inter Atalanta Tie they asked Kovacic about his many giveaways and he replied "I seen a bunch of south American players in black and white all saying "pásame el balón" how am I supposed to remember that they were the opposition..... ?? "
2-After Ranocchia scored for Inter this weekend the Inter faithful gave him a standing ovation and the radio commentator stated the following "ladies and gentleman, i have an anouncement to make. This is the first goal by an Italian for inter This season and the stadium is going to cave in" and his partner replied "if an Italian scored for inter this season it must be hell freezing over as we speak"
1-After the 0-0 Milan-Chievo tie a frustrated Matri was caught with Allegri having this discussion alongside Robinho:
Matri: Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair. We've traveled, um, a hundred miles 'cause we thought we were gonna score. But now it's not gonna happen. Damn it!
Allegri: Hey, buddy, sit down.
Matri: Shut up, ass-wipe! I'm sick and tired of this! We're never gonna score. It's just not gonna happen! We're just gonna get old like these people... but they've probably scored!
Allegri: Hey, I'm warning you! SIT DOWN!
Beavis: It's, like, this chick's a slut. And look at this guy. He's old, but he's probably scored a million times!
Allegri: [nodding] Oh, yeah.
Beavis: But not us. We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score!
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