10 things more likely to happen in Italian soccer than Lazio winning the scudetto

10-Zeman showing up to work without his cigarettes and lighter in his pocket
9-Giovinco scoring a header off a free kick in a champion's league game.
8-Balotelli naming his first son "Adolf"
7-Berlusconi cheating on his wife with an older woman
6-Abbiati breaking the record for longest consecutive run without conceding a goal in Serie A with Silvestre and Bonera as starting center backs.
5-an African player being the leading goal scorer for Lazio
4-Moratti getting a haircut before a Derby D'Italia match
3-Inter having an all-italian starting lineup
2-Taking a photo of allegri's smile with his teeth showing
1-AC Milan qualifying for Champion's league on the last day of the season without the referee's assistance